I don't want to go to the dentist tomorrow!
I feel horrible about it, honestly. I have some shitty ass teeth. I need like, 4 root canals, five if you count the one I got last year. We can't afford to get all my teeth taken care of. Per year, my insurance will only cover $1,000, which sounds like a lot. But a root canal is like. $800 or something like that. A crown is $900 or something. Which each tooth with a root canal requires the crown.
I have two teeth that have gotten root canals, neither of which have a crown. I got a root canal this year. The dentist said if I don't get them crowned ASAP, I'll lose the teeth and they'll have to extract the entire thing and give me fakes. So now my mom is going ahead and getting me a crown tomorrow. But we don't have the money for it.
She's using the money she's saving up for a car. You know. The one I was driving and wrecked. She just said "Well, Kelly, we'll just have to ask the Lord to help us now." She doesn't blame me for draining so much money. But I beat myself up over it. I know I didn't cause the accident. The woman ran the red light, and because her car was huge and mine was a compact, her's didn't get a scratch and my mom's car wasn't worth repairing.
And now here she is, a single mom supporting two kids. People think we're well off. We're not. We just make choices, sacrifices, and gauge what we do with our money. We saved for a house for maybe.... 7 years before we got one. And we only got this house because we qualified for a program for poor people. :c Believe it or not.
So I beat myself up over the amount of money I drain. I'd rather not that my mom wastes our precious money on something as useless as my teeth. I don't care about them! Not when it gets in my mom's way of getting what she deserves. I'd rather they rot out and I cry in pain than have to waste what little she was able to save up between all the bills. It's not fair. Why do bad things continue to happen?
I don't get it. What did we do to deserve this? Is this payback because of my dad? We were the victims. So it's not fair if we're getting hit by what he deserved to get hit by. I guess it could be worse. I could have been an orphan right now otherwise. I should be thankful my mom survived. Still though, she shouldn't have survived that day to put up with this bullshit.
Then we go and lose our apartment because, well, it was a crime scene and frankly living in an apartment with the number "666" plastered on your door. It was... a very dark and creepy apartment. Lots of unexplained things. We move in with my grandma. For like. Five years. Finally get a new apartment. Finally got a house. Lose car. Between that, the draining of my college funds and all my failures. I have a GPA of like, 2.0 or something now. What happened? I was practically a 4.0 student. Where did I go wrong? Why do I burden her? Do I do this to everybody around me? It's constantly nagging at the back of my head. And it really pisses me off. I have to get my shit together. No more fooling around. Clearly the way I'm leading my life isn't good enough. So it's time I make some changes.
ANYWAYS. >:C Now that that's over. Stupid dentist. I hope you realize the angst you're putting me through.
AAAnd now some shitty sketches. I was originally going to make this a much bigger piece, and it was going to feature all the characters in this particular story and how they all connect. All the characters connect back to Ratri or Dimitri. Hence why they were drawn first, at the top. Ideally, the rest of them would be under the two, connected by a string. That's why their index fingers are pointed out, they were going to be tied to those fingers.
BUUUUUT I GOT LAZY. 8D
A WIP of another keychain. Ed, from FMA. I really hate this keychain. :C Look at it. IT'S SO UGLY DHFKLDSAHFDJKSF. /bashes head into wall
KAY I'M TIRED NIGHT.
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