OH UHH. I WAS WATER COLOR TOOL AND THIS... TOOL... I CUSTOMIZED MYSELF... UH... IT ONLY BLENDS IF THERE'S COLOR "UNDER" IT? Idk tomorrow I plan on livestreaming so if you're there I'll show it off! c: OH MAI RIEKA NEEDS TO DECIDE MORE ON HER ALYSSA LOL. :c We've been RPing Rimo and Alyssa since other than Dimitri and Ratri, he's the only one that can see her. THOUGH THAT IN ITSELF IS A HUGE CLUE AS TO HIS TRUE IDENTITY AND REALITY OH MAI.
Okay I think it's time for a rant. Viv, you might think I mean you because of all the annoying yaoi talk, but I honestly don't. This is waaaay before I had met you and I'm talking about somebody completely different. Nonetheless the words still nag at me, and, well, JUST HIGHLIGHT/COPY+PASTE THE TEXT AND YEAH HUGE POST TODAY:
If there's one thing I'm insecure about, it's my OCs. My style is very cute and moe, right? It doesn't suit boys at all. Especially back then. I understand girl's outfits and can do a lot more with girls better than I can guys, it's only natural I want to work more with girls, right? And yet I used to get bashed by somebody I considered close at the time for "always drawing girls."
In the back of my mind, I always thought, What do you care? It's my art, I should be free to draw what I like and who I want! Right? I'm not being a bad guy by drawing what I like and want, it's not even bothering anybody now is it?
It's obvious I love moe and cute things. I'm sorry, okay? I really am. I'm sorry I like adorable girls and enjoy drawing them and making them. So sue me. Why get up in my face about it? It makes me draw more inside my shell.
And then I noticed something. She loved yaoi. A lot. Which is perfectly fine, honestly I see het, yaoi and yuri all on the same plane. Quite frankly, so long as the pairing makes sense then I'll probably ship it, regardless of gender. It just so happens a lot of god damn series make it point that some characters aren't gay, some hate each other, etc, etc. Like Izaya and Shizuo for example. They despise each other. Why the fuck am I going to ship them? Seriously? Relationship-wise, it makes no sense! Kyo and Yuki from Fruits Basket? Uh. Hello, they hate each other! I can't ship it!
If two dudes say more than "hi" to each other, I GUARANTEE YOU SOMEBODY WILL SHIP THEIR DICKS TOGETHER. This isn't so much a rule of yuri, but I digress, that's a whole 'nother post ranting at the hentai audience. Here's my poorly put together example:
I don't ship Hinata and Naruto. I can't. If you take Hinata's crush out of the equation, they become a crack pairing. Naruto hardly even realizes she exists. Hinata only noticed him because he was the underdog who fought back and she looked to him for inspiration. When I saw how protective Kiba was of Hinata, I thought it was cute- didn't ship it yet! When I saw how much they relied on each other, and how clear it was those two spoke (while not to ignore that Kiba and Shino obviously talk! also the fact Hinata can hardly talk to Naruto!), the idea of their relationship progressing was adorable.
This sums up my general feelings towards any pairing. Regardless of gender. The closest I've ever got to shipping any two dudes would be Seto and Crow from Fragile Dreams, but it wasn't even romantic feelings either had and Crow's a god damn robot guys. Wasn't Crow just trying to validate feelings or some shit like that? Proving human worth? Something like that, I don't even remember. In the end, I couldn't do it. Because he was a robot. Maybe if he were human, I might've looked past it and thought at the very least, they'd be cute companions with potential, had the game made Crow a partner and all that fun stuff.
So no, believe it or not, yaoi doesn't affect my decision in shipping a couple. It's how plausible and how much I enjoy the relationship on a romantic level. It just so happens most series completely obliterate the idea of yaoi. I mean, c'mon guys, Keiichi/Satoshi? Really? Now you're just being douche bags and taking the only (attractive) males of the series and forcing them to fuck.
Now lets go back to OCs. And the girl topic. I was like. Really? Look at my OCs. There's not a single lesbian OC. If anything, I have at least 2 confirmed gay male OCs, one technical yaoi couple, and another potential one. And yet. No lesbian OCs or yuri couples. Anywhere. And you have the audacity to complain to me about how I hate yaoi?
It's because of her I get irritated easily of yaoi. It's because of her I notice how much more closer I get into inspecting my favorite pairings. It's because of her I have no faith in my male OCs. This is why yaoi is a touchy subject for me. I've tried reading yaoi series, trust me, I have. They end up in sex. Usually drunken or forced sex. I'm not exactly moved in my heart and in fact, I was a little disturbed reading them- the forced one that is. Maybe I just ended up reading the wrong couple of series. Who knows. Either way, you can't say I didn't try and aren't trying.
It absolutely irks me when somebody complains how much they hate "het" or "yuri" or even "yaoi." "I won't watch Junjou Romantica because there's gay guys." And here I thought decent people cared about a plot. And genres. "I hate Twilight because everybody else does." Jesus Christ guys. SMH.
Seriously. I know there's a shit ton of yaoi fans, especially compared to the yuri fans. In terms of respectable yaoi fans to the amount of yuri fans though, there's about the same amount of people on both sides.
All in all. I'm insecure about my OCs, I hate my cute style, I hate the fact that I enjoy what I do, because I get bashed for liking it. Because my opinion and feelings are wrong. I hate the fact that because I'm not a yaoi fan, I'm a horrible person, that I'm closed minded. Don't you dare tell me I'm closed minded. Trust me. I've dated a guy. I've dated a girl for two years. Don't you fucking tell me I'm closed minded about jack shit. I'll find my voice and my opinions, and nobody is going to stop me. If you don't agree with me, take your bull shit and find somebody who will whine with you, because it's not going to be me.
All of this is relevant. The person who mentally antagonized me is coming back into my life, and will probably underhandedly try to bash me, my OCs, my preferences, and my pairings all over again.
One other thing that always bothered me about her. I'm not kidding when I say "this looks like shit" in my artist's comments. I see the problems, guys, it's not perfect. And she used to really say "you're just saying that for attention." Excuse me? Asking for attention? You're one to talk. I'm being legit and honest with every word I say, whether you think I'm fucking around or not. I'm a highly insecure person, I'm not stating that my appearance or my art looks like shit to fish for compliments, I'm stating it because I feel if I say it before somebody else gets to, it'll soften the blow. Believe it or not, I'm easily hurt. I don't give a fuck, online people have made me cry before. I'm a super emotional and sensitive person. Sorry you think I'm just fishing for attention. I'm just trying to reach the insult before anybody else gets to. Got it?
Augh sorry guys. It's been bothering me in the back of my mind over the past like, month. I had to let it out somewhere. It's just come to the point where I've become silent about the newest series I'm watching, my newest favorite characters, my newest favorites pairings, anything really. And I have no intentions of talking about anything I'm into as of late that I haven't already mentioned in the past in fear that I might regret it later.
I had half a mind to just delete all that I typed right now in fear I'll regret typing this at all. But hey. These are my feelings and how I feel. So is it wrong? Is it wrong that this is how I've come to protect myself from people telling me I'm wrong about my opinions and my likes?
ANNNNNYWAYS~! Enough of my ranting. :c I coulda added a lot more that was more personal/work related but I already ranted to Rieka SO YOU WERE SPARED.
:c Anyways finished the chibi of Alyssa from Clock Tower 3! Oh man I love this game so much. All the murderers were so brutal, I loved it! I can't decide which scared me the most. I feel bad for Alyssa having to fight them all, though... alone. /HUGS THAT POOR GIRL
Done to "The Small Print" by Muse. *____* Which is super ironic considering it's about a man who made a pact with the Devil. I wonder what Remi made a contract over...
and i'm bending the truth, you're to blame, for all the life that you'll lose
That statement has a lot more relevance then you realize.
Anyways I used same lyrics I pulled out to make this work.
memories unwind, so far, i still know who you are
you know you're just like me
While these girls' plight isn't exactly the same, they both are carrying heavy baggage. So long as their memories allow them, they realize they know who the other is. They're exactly the same though, something's just not right.
:c So I tried to make this... ambiguous?
'cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to prove
and i don't know why, but i can't keep my eyes off of you
While on base appearances, it can be cute and sappy, i-it can be a little more ambiguous, right!? Right down to it, they stand on the total opposites of each other. And yet neither have anything to prove, especially to the other.
The staring part is easy enough to explain, of course at least Brigette would stare, she can probably tell he's a demon, she's just not as good or positive at identifying if shes' right or not!
So I stuck them on a beach with a nightmare behind them. :c And their dumb asses would be too happy showing off their little sand castle to notice a god damn shark behind them.
c: I used a base btw because I'm a lazy sonova- click here for the base
Tee hee actually Rimo ending up in a Vocaloid song is very ironic! c: He was inspired by a Vocaloid song, but not Magnet!
she was a sour girl the day that she met me, she was a happy girl the day that she left me
he was so happy on the day that he met her
Okay time for some depressing! Levilika and Levi are twins. The town didn't know about this, because Levi was born much smaller and sicker than his twin sister. He was kept from public eye, and steadily grew into a healthy boy. When he was healthy enough, he was able to meet his sister for the first time.
It's not that Levilika resents him, but there's definitely something she knows about him that he doesn't. Is it about his illness? Will he make her sick? He can't help but want to be with his elder and only sister, but if he continues to follow her, will it be a regrettable mistake?
Which they both need second chances.
Yurimi's body is very weak and sickly. It's a very real possibility that she could get a cold and just never wake up again.
David needs a second chance in just life. He made bad decisions, and as a result his only little girl is dead. And he'll stop at nothing to bring her back.
sometimes good bye is a second chance
this is my one and only voice, so listen close, it's only for today
Here's them trying to ride their bikes without using the handlebars. Violet would straight up just fall over and Koumi's would explode. :C
Yeah but no Jamie's really random. o_o He really will only ever meet Kara, Ryoji, Gage, Yurimi and Kouhei.
They got the song Sliver by Nirvana. LOL BASED OFF THIS LYRIC
grandma take me home
SO NOW. SAM IS GRANDMA. LOLOLOL.
think i need a devil to help me get things right, hook me up a new revolution, cause this one is a lie
i'm looking to the sky to save me
fly along with me, i can't quite make it alone
There were a couple more, but I think more than anything, these two needed to be saved and given a real home. They're become dark people.
And thus the royal theme! 8)
EEEEEE GONNA DO MORE TOMORROW I'M UBER TIRED. NIGHT ERREBODY. LOL.
That's not a friend if she would say that to you. In all honesty, I think she might have been jealous.
ReplyDeleteI like your style, Roi. Above all other styles. I've been... er, copying... ish... your style ever since I met you (oh, c'mon, you surely know it, right?). Some say it's too moe and cute, but I think it's perfect. That's why I've hoarded art from you, and that's why I'm still waiting for your slots to open even now-- why I barely even order in any other shop. Don't hate on yourself for any of those reasons, because they're the same reasons I like you :(
^ Six's comment is the most accurate thing in existence right now. B| But I will write my own tomorrow, on tonight's blog. LOL I TYPED BLOW AT FIRST.
ReplyDeletej Aj AW MAN, ROI, TEACH ME HOW TO SKETCH. SDKLDHBKLHIDIOPEBIPL:EB;;;; I love your sketches. OTL. And the little splashes of color and gray. OTL.
FFFFFFFFT. Alyssa is so cute in your style. j vj I love her moe face! It's so fat and cute.